Fork in the Road
by McRose
Summary: Author: Janlaw.  A very different ending to the season 9 premiere episode!  AJ's rant leads to an unexpected result.


Anniversary Challenge #4 - A Fork in the Road

Author: Janlaw

Disclaimer: all the usual legalese.

This was originally chapter one of a story written for the Spring 2007 FicRecon/HBX "Ficathon." It has been enlarged for Anniversary Challenge #4.

"I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." (American poet Robert Frost)

The vignette begins during the Season 9 premiere in AJ's office, as the admiral's diatribe winds down.

"**Admiral, he saved my life!"**

"_Then put him on your payroll!"_

"_Drive a taxi" …. "Wrestle alligators." …. "Unreliable" … "Totally irresponsible" …."Not a team player" …".Driven by emotions."_

The ugly words reverberated in the suddenly silent office.

"No." Her first attempt faltered, the wispy syllable fleeting on the leaden chill in the air.

Resoluteness returning, Mac repeated herself in a stronger voice. "**No**."

Two letters. A simple word. What not to understand? The fog she'd been in for days was lifting. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. Clarity was returning.

"Permission to speak freely Admiral?"

The two men looked at her warily, both realizing that no matter what the response was, she was going to have her say.

"I told him once ….that he was driven by emotions ….and that those emotions were going to get us killed." Mac's tone was quiet and reflective. "That time, I was the one with the 'dispassionate' plan. This time, those emotions saved my life. This time, his dispassionate plan destroyed the stingers."

"Mac, don't." Harm's eyes jerked from the wall of AJ's office to her face and back again. "Don't risk your career …."

"Career? Oh no." Mac's half laugh half snort was rueful. "Alligator wrestlers usually work in pairs, don't they? One backs up the other. One's there if something goes south."

"You see, Admiral, that's what's made us such a good team. Either I've had Harm's back or he's had mine. I should've known something wasn't right when Webb didn't ask for both of us."

"He said …" AJ's voice trailed off as he realized he had no idea what Webb had actually said.

Mac's eyes blazed dark in her scratched and bruised face. "I hope he'll be all right. I really want him to be all right – so _I _can be the one to break his nose this time. Tortured or not, I'm having trouble finding a lot of sympathy for him, considering that he nearly got Gunny killed, and then me."

"I guess what it comes down to admiral," Mac's voice turned bitter, "is what _I _did that was so wrong. What cases _I_ blew, what orders _I_ disobeyed, how it happened that all of a sudden, _I_ wasn't worth going after, _I_ wasn't of any value anymore to the Marine Corps or to JAG.

AJ shifted uneasily. "You don't understand …it wasn't about you ….my hands were tied ….I couldn't …."

"Not acceptable admiral." The light colonel was suddenly furious. "I was still on active duty, I checked my bank statement on line last night; I got paid for the last two weeks. When my CO has me in and tells me I'm needed for a mission, I believe him. I didn't think I had to ask if you'd vetted the mission, if you felt there were good odds it'd succeed. I sure didn't think I was being given a choice. To me, it was an order to be obeyed. And I sure as hell," Mac's voice was a grim hiss as she flung the words out "didn't think I'd be abandoned to die because you were mad at Harm!"

"Mac, it wasn't like that …" AJ's drew back at the fury evident in her face, and beside her, Harm blinked.

Mac was on a roll. "When I was _there_, listening to Webb scream while they tortured him, when Sadik put a knife in my fake stomach to see if I was really pregnant," she ignored the men's gasps, "all I could think of was that if Gunny'd gotten away the three of you were looking for us. Then when he told the missionaries to kneel and shot them in the back of their heads, I hoped you weren't _anywhere_ where he could kill you too. Then when I was laying there, getting ready to try to go somewhere else in my mind while they tortured and raped me, or the other way around, before they killed me, all I could think of was that I hoped you'd take care of things the way I'd asked." Impatiently, as AJ stared at her. "In my letters, in my desk."

Turning to Harm, Mac's face wrenched in anguish and her voice faltered again. "I am so, so sorry, Harm. I never, ever should have obeyed his orders. I should have gone to see you in the Brig, helped you …"

Harm shook his head wearily. "Mac, don't beat yourself up. I found out later he'd made sure NO visitors would get in except my fool of a defense counsel."

Suddenly angry, Harm jerked to his feet. "You left me there to rot, admiral. WHY? Did you want me to be convicted? Maybe I'll write my Congressman – or make an IG complaint – do you think I should, admiral?" Harm sneered the title, his tone anything but respectful.

"Whatever." Mac gathered her Marine about her and reached into the leather portfolio she'd carried in with her, her uncle's gift when she'd graduated from law school. "I'm not working for a CO who thinks so little of my worth, even though I've done my best to be a good officer, a good lawyer, a good team player as well as a team leader ….an officer who went to the wall for her CO when_ he_ got in trouble…"

"If you want a transfer," AJ responded to her last. She interrupted him harshly.

"That's rich. I've been offered Marine orders practically monthly for the last few years. Good orders, too, for duty I was assured would get me my eagles and more, if I wanted it. I said I'd take my chances that Chief of Staff and the good work I was doing here would get me my eagles." Mac slapped her resignation onto AJ's desk, shoving the single page towards him.

"No, I'm through. Maybe you speak for the Commandant, maybe you don't. I have 16 years in. But I can 'wrestle alligators' with the best of them and that's infinitely more desirable than working for you or a Navy or Marine Corps that just threw me away. I haven't taken a single day's leave this FY, more fool me, so by my count I have 80 days leave on the books. I just have to get my personal stuff and I'll be gone. This time, please don't 'forget' to process my paperwork."

Executing a sharp 'about face' Mac strode from the room, not waiting to be dismissed.

End.

Note: The original story in several chapters, titled "Having Each Other's Back" can be found on this site. Just click on "McRose" for my stories and some written with highplainswoman.


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